All of us want massive success in life. Every day we try to figure out new ways to improve. But still, most of us seem to not make any breakthrough. If you browse the internet, you will find a huge amount of information about what are the ways in which you can create success. However, they miss one important ingredient which will become your key to success.
It is called the power of avoidance. Below is my list of 19 things that you MUST avoid to be successful.
1. Giving up on your mask to be your true self
Always trying to please others can have a devastating effect on your success. You will end up spending your precious time pleasing someone rather than focusing on your goals.
We fail to change due to the fear of being rejected by our friends and family.
The result is a life of complete misery and agony combined with the guilt of failing to pursue our dreams.
This is one lesson that I’ve learned the hard way if I’m not happy I cannot keep people around me happy. So, give up your mask and let your inner-self shine.
This will have two benefits in your life. One, you will be happy and the second being, people who truly love you will stick around. Rest will leave. So, your life will become more awesome than it is currently.
If you want to shine like a sun. First, burn like a sun. – A.P.J Abdul Kalam
2. Give Up Trying to Be Perfect To give your best
What is perfectionism? It is a way of getting things done flawlessly so that we can avoid failure.
Can such great success be achieved? The answer is ‘No’.
Then why do we try to achieve perfectionism?
This unhealthy craving to be perfect stems from the ‘Fear of Failure’ or rejection.
Instead of perfectionism, focus on giving your best or to focus on improving ourselves.
All the successful people know this secret. They don’t try to be perfect. They give their best.
If they fail, they get up quickly, learn from it and try again.
They know, failing is a part of the game. They know our imperfections make us perfect.
Healthy striving is self-focused: How can I improve? Perfectionism is other-focused: What will they think?
Brené Brown , Author The Gifts of Imperfection
3. Focus on Your Strengths rather than fixing weakness
We all are good at something and bad with at others. However, everybody seems to advocate the need to fixing your weakness.
Contrary to the popular belief, the rebel in me will say ‘STOP FIXING YOUR WEAKNESS’.
Here is an interesting story for you:
Paul B. Brown in his article stated that he was the worst Mid-level manager who has ever lived. He couldn’t delegate, couldn’t trust people, etc. So, he focused all his time and energy on improving these weaknesses but eventually ended up frustrated.
He did make a lot of progress like his delegation skills improved 300%. Which means, as per his words, he went from 1 to 3 on a scale of 10. But he was still lousy at it.
Then what is the point of fixing your weakness? It will never become your secret to success.
Instead, he suggests that we should focus on our unique strengths and find someone to offset our weakness.This will help us to propel further faster.
Celebrate your own uniqueness and use it properly. This will become your key to success.
1. Each person’s talents are enduring and unique.
2. Each person’s greatest room for growth is in the areas of his or her greatest strength.
Donald O. Clifton, author of Now, Discover Your Strengths
4. Give Up Your Belief In Future and start living in present
Future is a funny thing. It is always supposed to be good. But when that future becomes your present, you find that you are still stuck in the rut and that great golden mythical ‘FUTURE’ is elusive.
You end up despair and accept that you are a failure. But why did you think that the future will be great in the first place?
Because you were conditioned to believe that. But nobody told you that, your future is an outcome of the decisions you take today. If you make bad choices you WILL have a bad future.
So, rather than waiting for a golden future, all the successful people put effort to make their present worthwhile. Which in turn assures them of a great future
“Realize deeply that, the present moment is all you have. Make the NOW, the primary focus of your life.” – Eckhart Tolle, author of The Power of NOW
5. You don’t need anybody’s approval to make your life choices
Criticism is a mighty opponent. It can break even the toughest souls. It’s extremely scary to suffer the embarrassment of being wrong in the public eye. So, you avoid that by asking for approval from others.
As a result, you end up missing opportunities that can give you a head start in the direction of success.
The really tough choices, don’t center upon right versus wrong. They involve right versus right. They are genuine dilemmas precisely because each side is firmly rooted in one of our basic, core values – Rushworth M. Kidder, Author of Moral Courage
6. Sacrifice Work-Life balance to focus on your goals
Work-life balance is a term coined around the 1970s in the UK. The idea was to separate out work and life.
But in today’s world when everyone is accessible pretty much anytime, this is an ever-elusive concept.
I’m not saying that we should give up on the fun to be more successful. What I’m trying to say is, STOP hoping for a miracle to bring about Work-Life balance.
Instead, focus on your most important goal of your life. You have to choose between your family or work.
It can be average work life with a superb family life, or an average family life and a fabulous work life. You cannot have it all.
7. Give up Your Reluctance To Ask For Help
We all have only 24 hours in a day. Of which we spend 3 hours for food, 2 hours for pleasure activities and 6-8 hours of sleep.
This leaves us with only about 10-12 hours for work. This amount of time is not sufficient to figure out everything on your own if you are trying to build an empire.
For this, you must depend on SYNERGY, which is asking for help. Tap into the resources of your network to get you sh*t done
“Team Synergy has an extraordinary impact on business results” – Patrick Lencioni, author of The Five Dysfunctions of a Team
8. Give Up Fear of Failure And Follow Your Own Path
Thomas Edison was trying to create a light bulb. He spent countless hours and failed 1,000 times before finally succeeding to create a light bulb.
When a reporter asked, “How did it feel to fail 1,000 times”?
He replied “I didn’t fail 1,000 times. The light bulb was an invention with 1,000 steps”
“A man who wants to lead the orchestra must turn his back on the crowd” – Max Lucado, author of Fearless
9. Give Up Dependency On Willpower And Build Systems
Start of every year, I used to set up goals. Something like “I’ll lose weight by end of this month”.
I would start off with great enthusiasm, and after 2 weeks will give it up.
Then I would blame myself endlessly, saying that ‘Only if, I had more willpower’.
Now I’ve realized that my willpower is perfectly fine. The problem was, I lacked forming a system around my goal. That is the reason that I gave up so easily.
We all have limited supply of Willpower and we over-rely on it. Instead, we should focus on building systems which will make our actions automatic.
Here is a beautiful article about willpower which made me understand it better: What You Need to Know about Willpower
10.Give Up On Negative People To Maintain Your Sanity
The mind is our most important asset. The outcome of our lives is entirely dependent on what we feed our minds.
If we surround ourselves with people who always complain, nag or criticize then gradually you will become one of them.
So, to maintain your sanity it is important that you give up on any negative relations in your life. It can be someone from your family or your very close friend.
Until and unless you take out negativity out of your way, achieving success will be next to impossible.
Removing negativity only from your environment is not enough. You have to clean up your thoughts as well.
This perfect article from tiny buddha will provide you all the necessary resources you need to combat your negative thoughts.
11.Give Up Complaining To Accept What Is
Life is hard and complaining about it gives you a temporary relief.
However, It will not change the situations you are currently in.
It will only make you bitter and will force you to lose focus on your goals.
A better approach will be to accept your situation without complaining and try to find a solution to your problems.
Complaining is just a waste of your time and energy.
12.Give Up Re-inventing The Wheel Is The Key To Success
“If you wish to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first invent the universe” – Carl Sagan
You are not alone. All of us are trying to reinvent the wheel sometime or the other in life.
We fail to realize that someone somewhere in the world has already struggled with the same problem before.
To save time, leveraging those solutions is our best option. Whatever we need, the required help is just around the corner.
13.Give Up Waiting On Luck And Prepare yourself for Opportunities
Let’s say, you want to become a world-class singer.
One day you find yourself in an audition which can make your dream come true.
But the only problem is you don’t know how to sing. So, you had to give up on that opportunity.
After this, you blame your luck for not able to utilize this opportunity.
People who seem very lucky are the ones who prepare well. They build their foundation right.
You will also have to do the same.
Prepare hard so that when the opportunity presents itself, you are in a position to make the best use of it.
“Sometimes struggles are exactly what we need in life.” ― Ashwin Sanghi, author of 13 STEPS TO BLOODY GOOD LUCK
14.Give Up On Wasting Time To Focus on Your Priorities
We all have only 24 hours in a day. If we don’t use it wisely, we will be forever stuck in the rut.
To utilize your time properly, understand your priorities clearly. Once your priorities are set, start by attending your top priority task first.
One technique I use is by starting with setting up the goals for the year. Then divide it into monthly tasks.
After that, I do the planning for the upcoming month. Once you have this clarity, you can divide it further into weekly tasks and then focus on your daily tasks by diving the weekly tasks further.
This way you will never be overwhelmed with your goals and will maximize your chance of sticking to your goals.
“There is an old saying that “by the yard it’s hard; but inch by inch, anything’s a cinch!”
― Brian Tracy, author of Eat That Frog!: 21 Great Ways to Stop Procrastinating and Get More Done in Less Time
15.Give Up Wasting Money To Secure Your Future
Your friend got a new super shiny smartphone. It’s awesome. You must have that.
The next thing you know, you are running out of the door to the mall to get one for you.
But at the end of the month, you default on your SIP for mutual funds.
Sounds familiar? Then stop doing this. if you want to achieve success, you will have to give up on immediate gratification.
Otherwise, you will just be living paycheck to paycheck and will retire broke.
“If one does not know to which port one is sailing, no wind is favorable.” -Lucius Annaeus Seneca
16.Give Up One Being Stuck In Failure And Prepare Yourself Better
Failing at something is a great opportunity to learn from your mistakes.
You have to get immune towards feeling like a loser.
If you have learned your lesson, then the mistake has served its purpose.
If you get stuck in your failure, then you can kiss your chance at success goodbye.
You will never have any more courage to make a change.Failure is a part of life.
The lessons we learn from them are precious.
Analyzing your failure will make your success come faster. For this, problem-solving skills will come handy.
17.Give Up On Being Single
Being single is portrayed as an ultimate way to achieve success and happiness. Nothing can be further from the truth
When you are going through a challenging time, having a supporting partner can be the best thing in the world.
If you don’t have anyone to come back to after a hard day of work, then all the success in your life will become meaningless.
So, make it a mission to find that one person who will support you through thick and thin, who will be the meaning of your madness.
“Love is a longing to include someone as part of yourself. It is a possibility to become more thank what you are, by inclusion” – Sadhguru, founder of Isha Yoga, Inner Engineering
18.Give Up Taking “No” As an Answer
“No” is the shortest sentence. It doesn’t need any clarification.
However, in most of the life scenarios ‘No’ is subject to interpretation.
It can be “Not right now” or “not this way”.
So, if you get a “No” and stop trying, then you may be giving up on a superb opportunity.
Try to reinterpret. Is it actually a dead end or do you need to change your approach?
Why is it that you got a no in the first place? Is the time not right?
“Believe the unbelievable. Dream the impossible.Never take ‘No’ for an answer” – Tony Fernandes, Group CEO of AirAsia Berhad
19.Give Up On Giving Up
Why we give up on your dreams? Most of the time, we think that we are too powerless against your odds.
Our chances of success are bleak and we cannot see any light at the end of the tunnel.
If you are thinking this way, let me give you some examples from the past to keep you going:
- Abraham Lincoln continued to run for office after losing five political races in a row.
- Thomas Edison conducted over 1000 experiments in two years before he developed a reliable light bulb.
- J.K Rowling was rejected by twelve different publishers before finally finding someone to publish the Harry Potter books
What would have happened if they have given up after their 1st, 2nd or 3rd failed attempt?
You would not have been living in the world you are currently in. So, forget about giving up.
Every time you feel like giving up think why you started in the first place.
Keep pushing. Even if you make little or no progress. These efforts will add up to become your long-term success.
“Continuous small improvements will lead to long-term progress, which in turn will ensure you won’t give up on your goals too soon.”
― Martin Meadows, Grit: How to Keep Going When You Want to Give Up
If you want to achieve your dream in life, it will require sacrifices. At every step, you will have to make tough choices. However, at the end of the journey, you will be happy that you remained committed to your path.
Pick up a couple of pointers from the above list and start working on it. You will be astonished to see the amount of progress you can make in a short amount of time. And best of luck for your success.
Please leave your thoughts and comments below. Also, if you have benefitted from this article, please share with your friends and family. They may also be benefitted too.